Ashes Divide VI - Embark on

The Dissertate

The same dawn of hopes for everyone. The same dreamworld. With a wish to see them again I opened my eyes to a day covered with bruised clouds. A chill in air that everyone can feel. With a numb feeling I realized it was time to face her, face my next biggest fear and closed my eyes again. I knew it was coming, I knew I was weak, I knew... All the time it was about my fate of finding my strength in her. With some empty echos I fell asleep again. 

When I opened my eyes this time the burning sun just blinded me and then I saw her shadow. "Wake up dear!", she said. "I hope everybody is lying", and she then looked into my cracked eyes reading all that I wanted to say. With a fake smile she said "It was so hopeless... wasn't it?".

I was just restlessly looking into her deep blue eyes; as if it was the last glimpse. She sat down near me placing that gasoline injection near me. She wanted me to move and react. She wanted me to see fly the same way I always used to. I was lying so helplessly with a great wish in my mind that the injection can make me fly. It was just all so quite with a hollow sound of air when she injected me.

"You were never that weak", and she stood up opening her wings, "You have to fly!". I looked her for the last time and closed my eyes. I gave heed to her feet walking away from me. But then she stopped and said " But if some sorrow comes to you, utter my name with sighs, and tell the silence: Memory is true - there beats a heart wherein I dwell. "

Ashes Divide V - Wakeless

Profane destiny

The sculptures of infliction and my body were meant for each other. With my swollen cheeks I felt it for the last time, all those feelings from my imagination; who were about to leave my head too. All those soft and immortal dreams, that soft water giggling around my feet with its chirping sound, that blanket with cozy and silky cover, those burning and vivid colors of sky everywhere around our cave, those clouds of love, those passions and all those unimaginable creative sounds... Something big that was missing! and I knew exactly what it was. I had no choice but to keep telling myself that its going to be alright.
In the quicksand of thoughts when I reached back to my only and last resort there was nothing. Nothing but ashes and black walls everywhere with a question on them! Where were my lights? Where is that blanket? Then all questions came back to me with only one answer, "You never had them!". I told my self again its going to be fine again and with a big grin and heavy shoulder I sat on that last place of my world. I saw my two lamps. They very blown out, but they still had the heat. They were covered in the ashes as if they were covered in hot snow.
I collected my self from pieces and tried to cover those last two lamps with fragile and broken leaves around. Resting my back against that ruin and looking up in the sky I kept waiting for that dawn that was never came... All those wakeless nights were gone!

The Embellish

I wish I could suicide
With a grace in your sight

Built around the temples of my mind
Some promises and confessions still confined

Today I walk with hand full of lies
Darker and deeper in the stains of your eyes

Spreading love with the lacerated wings
With an unsealed fate; so uncertain what it can bring

Wanna see your lips saying everything will be alright
Wake up! take me and fly

Because I am tired of this melting sky
I wish I could fly... with love I deny